45 is just 45

 I’m a May baby and the 24^th day of the month has always been very significant for me as always. My family has always made me feel special on this day and given me the strong root to always stand on my feet and appreciate my life. I learnt life early- self-love and appreciation; gratitude and contemplation was ingrained since I was a child and I must thank my parents, ‘maami’ and sisters for it.

I am a firm believer Birthdays should be celebrated; loved and always love celebrating people around me. When it comes to my birthday, my way of celebrating as always since my twenties are for me reflecting on the lesson life has taught me (I do have diary notes written every year on this day-the eve of my born day). Since the birth of my sons, it’s even more special. I have never been ever more privileged than to celebrate my life for them by celebrating them, my little world. 

This year, 2021-I felt even more special: I am turning 45 and officially hitting middle-age. Surprisingly, the idea of being 45 is not freaking me out; in lieu of that, the number is making me feeling fabulous, empowered, accomplished, thankful and merry. Indeed, I am proud of myself: how I have carried myself through my humble shiny days and withstand the monstrous dark clouds and wild storms, and after much tragic turbulence, still going strong. 

Half way to 90

Dreams don’t die at any number-at 45, I still have goals that I want to achieve and complicated questions that I ask myself about life decisions. I do see my body and mind needs more care now as a result of the passage of time. Even though, I am fit, - there days I get into 40’s syndrome with few physical hiccups-be it presbyopia (far sighted or difficulty reading)-I do need glasses now, sleep injuries or digestive trouble. I am also mindful, I could be closer to menopause –but that doesn’t halt a lady’s life, instead, it makes her realise how worthwhile and consequential, life has been so far. Another half way through, I will be 90, if I am destined to live till then.

That said, today, I’m absolutely grateful for the path life has taken and what I have learnt along the way. So, instead of penning in my diary, I thought I’d share a list of 45 things I’ve learnt in 45 years of my life on this planet Earth that currently, is  being hit worst by a tiny deadliest virus.

1.     Love yourself

2.     Call dad often

3.     Buy flowers for late mum

4.     Drink lots of water

5.     Never say no to good coffee

6.     Eat well but never forget a slice of cake to savour

7.     Sleep well: 8 hours of sleep is a luxury. Every time, you  get one you feel glorious

8.     Dress well especially when you are down

9.      Be vulnerable

10.  Laugh out loud. Smile.

11.  Read real books

12.Travel in the public transport

13.Take a long drive

14.Don’t hold grudges because they will hurt you more than anyone else

15.Remember those who stood with you in my hard times

16. Be patient when cooking. It teaches you the value of being patient in life.

17. Challenge yourself: Do something that is impossible in your thinking

18.  Sing and dance. If can’t at least listen and watch.

19. Pause. Do or think nothing.

20. Watch a lighted candle or burning fire; Meditate and say a prayer

21. Walk, run or jump until it sweats: Exercise is good.

22.  Embrace nature. Walk in the rain. Smell a flower. Feed a bird. Plant a seed and watch it grow. Climb a mountain. Swim in the sea. Trail the forest. Recycle.

23.Talk to a child.

24. Remember the magic words: Please, Thank You, Welcome and Sorry.

25.Travel whenever possible.

26. Treat spouse with compassion, respect, kindness and love without any expectation.

27. Be in the moment with sons: run, play, paint, or dance, explore the marvellous world and keep them close before you learn to let them go

28. Take ownership of your work- do it with your heart and to your best

29. Keep learning

30. Don’t assume, judge, hate or oppress; everyone is equal and inclusive.

31. Stand for the righteous; and respect other’s rights; you never bother others, likewise, don’t let others bother you.

32.   Keep your space. Avoid toxic acquaintances and petty people.

33.   Set your boundaries and learn to say no; you don’t have to please anyone for anything.

34.  Don’t regret; if you do, write it down, tear it apart, dispose, move on and never repeat or cross that path again.

35. If you fall; rise. If you fail; start-over again

36. Seek help when needed

37.  No matter how worst people treat you; be kind; be humble; walk away if you don’t like. Being angry only hurts yourself.

38.  Keep calm in storm. Life may seem rough sometimes and that sometimes may seem always but keep your charm and head-up.

39. Get serious about your goal.  Write them down. Make a plan. Do the work. Soar in your own way.

40.  Celebrate when there is no occasion- pay for a stranger’s coffee

41.  Practice minimalism; we need less things than we think we do

42. It’s ok to be down sometimes

43. Listen twice. Speak once

44. Live enough with what you have.

45. Love unconditionally. Good virtues will always take you  afar no matter which pitted path you travel.

At 45, I see life as a blissful audacious journey. It’s not a race to compete or champion. I do not need to please anyone to like me and I have learnt to see through people and their experiences. I have soared in my career, seen the pinnacles and chose to rest my high-achieving career in broadcast journalism for the sake of my family after my love-marriage. I do miss journalism but I do not regret and whenever possible I choose to write. Life will take you to mysterious places, some are fun and nice, some are scary and horrible but you will learn to survive.

In these 45 years, I have seen how money, fame and status can play its fiddling tricks in testing a man or woman’s  virtue and dignity; in that context, how the notorious world around you perceive their opinions and treat you falsely. I have witnessed foul play, backstabbing, betrayal, blackmails, death threat, heartbreaks,failure and humiliation. World can seems to be cruel and futile at times. In contrast to these, I have also seen and believe there are always more love to keep hope and spirit of humanity alive. Of course, there is more love and kindness in this world than we could ever-imagine.  Hate is not an option for me, even if there is one. To me, I am the best version of 'Me' but not 'Other'. Of all that I can be, I will be 'Me' and kind. There are ups and downs, but it is up to me to nurture life; build, cherish and make the world that I inhabit beautiful for me and others around me, because at the end of the day, in the very end- nothing will matter, even 'I'.

I have seen death and completely aware of its reality. Sooner or later, there will be a day, my breathing ends, consciousness fades away, heart stops beating, and brain shuts down.  At that moment, my life will flicker out and dying is over. 

 ‘I’ won’t be there anymore. 

Maybe any useful parts of my body will be taken as I permitted and the remains will be cremated to ashes. Loved one’s will mourn and grief; carry my memories. Even that, will vanish over time and the journey continues from one to another, and another to the other. For now, let my horizon look after itself.

 I hope one or two notes from my 45’s list will make sense to you or maybe it’s just what you need to read right now, no matter how old you are or where you are in your life. Remember to celebrate yourself.

Happy Birthday to me.